Author’s Note: This fic is loosely based on the lyrics below from Thompson Square’s, Glass (Thanks to Erin for the suggestion). This will be a three parter, I think.
We may shine, we may shatter,
We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, cause we are glass.
‘Cause we are glass.
I’ll let you look inside me, through the stains and through the cracks,
And in the darkness of this moment,
You see the good and bad.
But try not to judge me, ’cause we’ve walked down different paths,
But it brought us here together, so I won’t take that back.
She jerked down the visor, the automatic light confirming her fears–bloodshot, red, and swollen eyes, red, shiny nose, and a tear-stained face–all the markings of someone truly pathetic.
“You’ve got to pull yourself together, Phyllis.” She stared at her face in the mirror. The eyes that stared back at her seemed unconvinced. They were the same eyes that had stared at her in the rear view mirror on the drive over–the same eyes that had scoped out his driveway and pulled in when she realized his car wasn’t home. These were the eyes that had stared at the road for the past hour–wondering where he was, what he was doing, and who he was doing it with. These eyes had stared down onto blank paper and watched as she poured her heart out onto it. All her innermost thoughts written down in a letter.
Phyllis stared down at the envelope that sat in the passenger seat. Billy’s name was scrawled on the outside of the envelope. She looked back into the mirror. “What are you doing to yourself?”
That’s what she was doing. She was lying and stalling. That letter was the most honest thing she’d ever written. She’d had to write it for fear she’d never be able to say it–not while looking into his eyes. The fear she’d buried from so many years ago rose up inside her as she thought of him walking away. She’d pushed him away so many times. Everyone has a breaking point–maybe Billy had reached his.
There were things he needed to understand, things she wanted to say, things he deserved to hear, things he had to know–so many things…. She couldn’t leave it like this.
Phyllis drew in a deep breath and grabbed the letter opening the car door. The cold air hit her like a slap in the face and she instantly regretted packing her coat in her luggage. Thankfully, she was just leaving the letter. She closed the car door and rushed to the the front door, easily pushing the letter under the door and into the foyer. She stood still for a moment, allowing her breath to slowly leave her body, the white smoke trailing in front of her face.
He would get the letter. He’d read it and he’d call her, but by then, the decision would have been made. She’d be in another town and he could still have his life here–he could still have his company, his family, his friends. They could figure something out, but not here–not together. He needed her gone, even if he wouldn’t admit it. Even if it was possible he didn’t even know it.
She was satisfied she had done the right thing, the prudent thing. Her footsteps made crunching noises as they crushed the mixture of snow and ice that covered the ground. She made a mental note to make quick work of her errands. There would surely be some flight delays before long. Her hand reached for the door, pulling at the handle.
“Not possible.” The white puffs seemed to mock her as they drifted in front of her face and she swatted them away as if they were annoying insects. She peered into the car window, her eyes falling on the keys, firmly planted in the cup holder right beside her phone. She groaned. “You have got to be kidding me!”
Wrapping her arms around herself tightly, she walked out towards the road. It was getting late and traffic was basically at a stand still. The nearest neighbors were over a mile up the road and she wasn’t even sure they were here year round.
She sighed. The wind whipped up again, the bitter cold cutting through the thin jacket. “You’ve really done it this time, Phyllis,” she muttered as she stomped back towards the front door. She stepped under the small shelter, sitting on the welcome mat and placing her back against the door. She drew her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms tight around her. At least she could block some of the wind this way. And anyway….Billy would be home soon. Any minute now…she was sure of it….
Billy gripped the wheel tight, his knuckles almost white. This had been a stressful night for a drive. Clearing his head had become an increasingly difficult task lately and the only thing that seemed to work was driving. He’d get in the car, turn up the music, and drive for hours. She wasn’t in the car with him. There were no memories there–just everywhere else. She was in his house, in his bed, at the park, on his bike, at the club, at the office…..she was everywhere.
He sighed, slowing as he neared his turn. His low beams focused on a car that seemed to be close to…no–it was in his driveway. His eyes widened as the car became more clear. It was her car. She was here, but why….
His foot smashed on to the brake, the car jerking to a sudden stop, his body lurching forward then back. He slammed the gear stick into park, not even bothering to turn the car off. He was out of the car in seconds, his legs moving almost independent from his body. He slid across the slick driveway, his hands touching her face.
Fear gripped his heart and a cold chill ran through him. She was silent, still, and so cold. Nothing made sense. What was she doing here? Why was she outside in nothing but a jacket? Why wasn’t she moving, talking, screaming at him to leave her alone. So many times she’d told him to go away. So many times he’d begged her not to say those words, but at this moments, he’d gladly hear them. He’d gladly hear anything.