Pairing: Sharon and Adam
Title: Full Circle
Early Spring 2020
Lying naked in bed, her long blonde hair smoothed out across the pillow, him right beside her, one of his hands on her left hip, the other cradling the back of his head, she thought he might be settling in for a stay. She wouldn’t ask him to not to go though, even if she wished he would stick around for awhile longer.
She hadn’t planned on any of this. Walking into that smoky bar, she had just been looking for an escape. That’s what people did when they hit rock bottom – they drank, they sat in a corner and cried and blamed the whole world for their problems even if it was they, themselves, who had created the disaster they called a life.
She had barely taken a sip of vodka, barely felt the burn going down, when he showed up. He looked as lost as she felt, haunted, and when his eyes zeroed in on hers, he looked angry. No, livid, as if he blamed her for everything. And why shouldn’t he? Everyone else blamed her; everyone else hated her. Why shouldn’t he as well?
He stomped over to her, throwing every nasty, vile word he could think of at her. He blamed her for keeping Sully – make that, Christian; Christian Newman (sometimes it was so easy to forget) – away for so long that he might never get him back. Blamed her for the fact that Christian didn’t even know who he was. Nick – and Chelsea too – were fighting his appeals for full custody. It no doubt burned him that no sooner had he “died” again that his wife had taken up with his own half-brother, a man who was his enemy more often than not.
Finally, when he had exhausted himself of every insult and all energy and fight, he sagged against the bar and reached for her drink, downing it himself. His head drooped and he looked so sad in that moment, she didn’t know what else to do but press a hand to his shoulder in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. He looked at her and the tears in his crystalline eyes seared her to the core. And then before she could protest, he had slammed his lips down on hers in a hot, sultry, needy, desperate kiss.
She wouldn’t have guessed that she would kiss him back, but she did. Boy, did she ever. Adam slapped two twenties down on the bar and practically carried her out of there. They made it as far as her SUV before passion exploded. Later, saying nothing, they drove to her place about three blocks over. She had long since been kicked off the ranch property and was living in a seedy little apartment above a bakery.
They had sex once on her sofa and then stumbled to her bed for another round, and now it was over and she couldn’t decide if he was going and if she would be okay if he did. She had enjoyed the closeness, the comfort, for as long as it had lasted. She hadn’t felt so alone when she was wrapped up in his strong arms.
Finally, the silence was broken as Adam rolled over to face her, his fingers fanning out over the heated skin of her bare leg. “This was -”
“Probably a huge error in judgement,” Sharon said. “No, it was.”
“Yeah, it was,” Adam said and for some reason it hurt to hear him echoing her words back at her. “You held my kid hostage. I thought he was dead. I had years sitting in that dirty warehouse as a prisoner to mourn him, you know.”
Sharon nodded slowly, feeling her eyes well up with hot, ashamed tears. “I know.”
“Sometimes I dreamt that he was alive, sometimes I dreamt I got to hold him and know him and be his dad. But I won’t now. Nick is fighting it tooth and nail and Chelsea -”
“Your wife is helping him.”
“Ex-wife. She married him while I was presumed dead, remember? She loves him; she’s going to stick by him. The divorce … it’s just a formality to get through to what she wants – to have a life with him.”
“Maybe she’ll realize in time you’re the one she wants to be with.”
“Even if she did, I can’t forgive her. Not for intentionally keeping Christian away from me.”
Sharon nodded. “You can’t forgive me either then because I did the same thing.”
“You didn’t know he was mine back then, at least.”
“Are you making justifications for me?” Sharon asked, voice shaking a little.
“No, what you did was wrong … but how can I cast stones anymore? I did the same thing to you. I let you think Faith was dead. I practically gift-wrapped her up and gave her to Ashley to raise… Bottom line is, I don’t want to be a hypocrite on top of all of my other sins.”
“I’m sorry,” Adam said. He shook his head and flopped back on the pillow. “Did I ever say sorry – truly – for what I did with Faith?”
She reached out and placed her hand on his arm. “You did, about a million times. And I forgave you, right or wrong. I forgave you because I loved you and it was easier to love you than hate you.” She couldn’t believe she had said that; admitted that. She had been prepared to spend her life with him at one point but that was such a long ago time. It had been a whole ‘nother lifetime actually, when he had a different face and she had hope for the future.
Adam nodded slowly, lifted his eyes to hers. “I loved you too, Sharon. So much, it couldn’t have been healthy.”
“What we did tonight… it wasn’t healthy either. It wasn’t right. If anyone finds out-”
“In all honesty, healthy or not, who gives a damn at this point?” Adam said. “Who cares what anyone thinks? They dumped us, they dumped on us. Screw them; screw them all. Let them burn.”
“Was tonight … Was it about revenge for you, Adam? Getting back at everyone who’s wronged you?”
Adam sighed. “It may have started out like that… But right now, looking at you, it’s not about that anymore. I won’t make apologies for this and you shouldn’t have to either. It just feels like everything came … full circle.”
“Full circle,” Sharon murmured.
“Yes,” Adam said. “Maybe this is how it was always supposed to end up… You and me, together.”
“Hey, I am not trying to get all territorial on you here. It’s just .. This feels inevitable, Sharon. It feels like it was going to happen again someday, even if I have a different face than the one you loved; even if I came back to town with different priorities…. I think I wanted this to happen, deep down. In this moment, in face of all of the chaos and horrible shit going on, it’s the only thing that feels … right.” He reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers.
Sharon smiled though her eyes were decidedly moist. Maybe Adam was correct… Maybe this was inevitable. Maybe it ended up just how it was always supposed to…Sharon and Adam, two misfits, two outcasts, together, against the whole damn world.